Tough Love: Accepting Failure(s)

"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take." –Wayne Gretzky

Ideally, you want to hit 100% of the shots that you take in life.  It's that moment when you know you've put your entire heart and soul into something.  Courage takes over.  Your palms are sweating a little bit, but you know that it is the right thing to do.  God has guided you to this very opportunity.  The pencil is in hand.  The time to train, the time to analyze has concluded.  Be careful not to misstep.  Don't think about mistakes.  You can't imagine failing or her saying "no."  Get the thought of failure out of your head.  Now you can't stop thinking about it.  The time comes to perform, and...

It's a complete wash.  She told you "no" after you worked up the courage to ask her on a date.  You didn't use the right form to push a 275 pound barbell off of your body.  The test you just took might as well have been in Arabic, and you would have understood just as much of it.  You started to stutter during the presentation, and you lost your nerve.  Everything starts to crash upon you, and no one is around to help.  You walk briskly to your apartment, sit down on your bed or couch, close your eyes, and...

You don't cry.  Crying hasn't been part of your game since Little League.  You sit down and think a moment.  Maybe you stand up and pace around.  Failure isn't an everyday occurrence for you, and most times it isn't an option.  You don't call anyone:  no one understands you right now.  Suddenly, deep in thought, you encounter all of the ways that it could have gone wrong, and you find your faults.  Was it just that you were inadequate?  Did something go wrong with implementation?  Was it just bad luck?  Maybe bad timing?  Maybe now it's time to talk to someone.  But to whom...?  Who will understand...?

I really hate failure.  Always have, always will.  I've gotten so far in my life up to this point, and it's hard to talk about the times when I made a decision that didn't pan out well.  Some of the greatest pictures, experiences and sensations of my life came from the time right before the moment of failure. Do I expect to succeed every time?  No, but I want to succeed where I've put forth the most effort, and am not fazed by failure in the places where I haven't.  The worst is when I think I've got it in the bag, and something comes along and pulls the rug out from under me.  Spontaneity is not a favorite of mine, and the frequent curve balls of life today add gray hair quicker to my head than the first 23 years combined.  

But if we hate failure so much, what makes us get back up on the horse and try again?  Is it because we are compelled by our peers, or because we really think we have a chance?  Do we actually learn from failure?  If so, what are its lessons?  What happens if we don't learn from these lessons?  To what extent should we insure a decision that we think might fail?  

We try to do things that sometimes seem out of reach because we can't bear the thought of not having tried.  I can't bear the thought of skipping class even though I'm already late, because I will spend the entire day thinking "what if?"  I can't imagine not trying to bench press some weight that I might fail at because then I won't really know what my maximum is, and where I could go to further my progress.  I ask the girl out because a "no" is still better than beating myself up over someone I really wanted who could have been a "yes."  Why, then, do we accept the failure and move on?  

Failure isn't the end; rather, it's a beginning.  It's a beginning of the understanding of our limitations.  From there, we find ways to make progress.  This is where I meet "The Great One" and his philosophy on trying:  yes, I didn't score a goal this time around, and there are probably myriad reasons why I failed.  But there is no in quitting where our hearts are set.  Our hearts will heal if it wasn't meant to be, but only we are the ones who can find that out.  Never let anyone tell you that you will fail, and then believe them.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said:  "No one can make me feel inferior without my own consent."  Consent to fail, and there's no beginning.  There is only despair.

For tomorrow, think of a time in your life when you failed.  Take five minutes of your day and really think about that failure.  Ask yourself questions from this blog, or something that you made up yourself.  Don't take it as a time to beat yourself up, especially if you've already resolved it and moved on.  Rather, if that failure is resolved, what did you learn from it?  Do you know someone else who is going through the same thing?  Share it with that person.  Use the "feel, felt, found, find" method:

• I understand how you feel (after, obviously, listening to them)
• Here is how I felt in a similar situation (hardest part; make sure you've truly internalized the other person's problem)
• This is what I found (you overcame your failure; now it's your turn to help someone overcome theirs)
• Here's what I think you will find (not assuming too much about this person; rather, show them that there's hope in their life)

Use your acceptance of failure to provide a brick or two of your life to help someone else repair of theirs.  Take care, everyone.

Leaving It All Out on the Field

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me."  -Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck's words strongly resonate in my mind as a way that I would like to conduct my life as a productive adult.  My story starts in the past:  as many of you know, I played American football when I was in high school.  For six years (grades 7-12), I played for teams that enjoyed a wide arrays of results, from one-win seasons to appearances in the PIAA state semifinals.  Football was a release back in those days:  it helped me to get out any aggressive streaks that I had as a teenager while doing something productive.  I was always a big guy, and playing football for me was a way to use the talents and advantages that being naturally big carried.  I had two major goals by the time I reached high school:  1) to gain a starting position on the varsity team, and 2) to reach a championship that my high school had never reached.

In the end, I achieved both of them.  By sophomore year, I started on the defensive line; and by senior year, my team made it to the PIAA semifinals.  The journey was never easy, for sure:  we spent afternoon after afternoon in the weight room and on the track after school in the off-season, breaking records and missing targets.  I remember at one point, I had to run nearly a mile and a half after training after doing squats and sprints the previous two hours. Waking up in the summer to go to work in the morning took a full breakfast and at least two Advil tablets to dull the aches.  With all of the time and energy that I had invested in this sport, there was no way I was going to graduate high school without achieving something significant.  Therefore, that final season I made a promise:  no matter the outcome, I was going to leave everything out on the field.  If I wasn't exhausted after a game, I didn't work hard enough.

Throughout my university and graduate school life, I have tried to push this same tenet on the different activities that I undertake.  If I am going to succeed at something, I need to give all of the expertise and diligence that I have now; otherwise, I will leave from that opportunity with regrets.  If I know that there was one thing I could have done to help myself get a better grade or gain a leadership position which I now don't have, it's a tough pill to swallow.  Life stretches everyone thin, but we must look at demanding times of life more as opportunities to achieve great things, and less as times of great burden.

My advice for today, readers, is this:  Take inventory of all the outstanding commitments and promises that you have made to this date.  Put them out on the table, on the board, anywhere you feel that you can organize them.  Decide for yourself which ones are the most important, and which ones you need to accomplish the soonest.  Then go out and seek to finish them, limiting your distractions.  If you have to turn off your cell phone for an hour, do so.  If you have to give up Facebook for 48 hours, do so.  These things are extremely useful, but they carry a key trade-off:  they are very useful distractions.  We commit ourselves to so many different things in a given day, and even those who exercise good time management skills need to figure out how much energy they must devote to a given task.  My personal challenge is to take the example of my high school football career and use it to finish out the work I have to complete for this semester.  I have to understand that I embraced all of my goals for a particular reason, and constant reminder of those ideals is what is going to propel me to realize them.

Take the time to watch this speech from the movie Friday Night Lights.  In his halftime speech during the Texas AAAAA state championship, Coach Gary Gaines alludes to leaving everything out on the field.  At the end of the day, we must be able to look our friends, family, colleagues and clients in the eye and let them know that we gave them everything we possibly could to achieve our goals.  If we can give everything we have, then win or lose, we have gained our dignity, and no one can take our pride.

The Thrill of Victory... over What?

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."  -Ayn Rand

The 20th century philosopher and intellectual giant Ayn Rand and I do not agree often in terms of how we view the world, but I found this quote to be powerful, in the spirit of resurrecting my blog.  Think about the last time you made a goal.  What was the payoff to achieving it?  Did you believe for one moment that it would make you better relative to someone else, or better overall?  Do you find more satisfaction in beating others in competition, or in simply bettering yourself relative to yesterday?

Tonight (~1:30 in the morning) I reflect on this very idea.  Why did I start this blog back in August?  What caused me to lose focus and practically abandon it?  At this point in mid-November, have I really made myself into a "better man?"  If so, relative to what?  

To answer this question, I looked at why (again) I really wanted to undertake this project.  I stopped making judgments over my progress in early October, largely because I had convinced myself that I was too busy to write or take better care of myself.  Reminding myself of the goals tonight, however, made me feel ashamed.  These are legitimate goals:  for instance, dropping 25 pounds and running a few times per week is essential to making a smooth transition to living in Bogotá because it is easier to adjust to higher altitudes when in shape.  I'm also trying to control my weight for the sake of my joints in the long run, as well as my back.  It's going to be a lot easier to get up in the morning at 200 pounds than 225.  

Spiritually speaking, I'm still looking for that renaissance.  Though I've been going to church on Sundays, I'm still looking for the key to deepening my personal spirituality.  Books and stories are great, but they wear off over time.  Routines get stale.  My goal for the month of November is to make it back to confession, something I did last September.  A good penance sorts out my mind, as long as I don't do it too often.  If anyone has any recommendations for books I can read (gradually), feel free to drop a comment on my post.  

Over the next week, I'm going to continue to focus on inspirational quotes and philosophers.  Each one will come with an idea that I either agree or disagree with, and I will try to relate them to my pursuit to become a "better man."  Per Rand, I gained from this quote the concept that a victory is not going to come from doing better for someone else.  I don't try to get good grades because I want to do better than my colleagues:  the point is to do better than I did last semester.  The point of getting into shape isn't to be better-looking or in better shape than people around me:  it's to make myself better off in the long run.  Spiritually, I will always acknowledge that I am among the worst of sinners, and that each step I take in the right direction is but one of a thousand that I should be taking.  Ms. Rand is right in this regard:  we should be focused on achievement, not beating the person next to us.  Take that thought into consideration as you push for something great this week.  Have a look at the video from Brian Tracy below if you (like me) are in the market to develop good habits once again.  Take care!

Getting Back to Basics

It's October 7, and it's been two weeks since I've written an entry.  I had a great start to my semester:  I was losing weight, getting back to faith and truly expanding my knowledge while pursuing a grueling career in graduate school.  However, attention towards becoming a "better man" dropped off, and I found myself playing catch-up for the past two weeks.  I made a couple decisions that weren't too smart in terms of time management and leisure, and now I find myself working hard when I could be relaxing and easing back into a difficult week.

This week will be the week of turning in outlines, making presentations and taking exams, so I find myself always preparing for something else after I've completed something.  It's one of those weeks where I find that I'm already looking forward to the end of it, when I can drive home and be with my family.  Looking at the list of things I have to do, however, just increases the distance.  Tomorrow I don't have much to do, but I have to prepare for a presentation on Wednesday.  After that, I have to prepare a paper proposal for my Thursday class, then prepare for an exam on Friday.  Alongside my classes, I'm teaching 25 hours this week, as well as completing a course on Coursera.  Once I turn in the final project for that course, I think I will post it here (preview:  I'm writing a mock business strategic analysis on the Heinz Corporation for my final deliverable).

In the end, I'm just trying to start this week off right, but I don't really have much of an inspiration for today.  My inspiration is more or less that I got back up off my feet and began to write again.  Convince yourself to not lose focus on the big goals in life, and remember that it's better late than never to get back on track.  Let's have a good week and take care of those goals.

Awkward Greetings: The Utility of a Polite "Hello"

With six years under my belt at the University of Pittsburgh, walking back and forth between classes and the tasks of everyday life, I tend to run into people who I know or have met.  Some of these people I really like, some of these people I really don't.  Yet others fall into a third category:  yeah, I kinda know you, but do you know me?  Would I be awkward to wave or say "hi," only to have you pretend you didn't see it?  Conversely, a fourth category:  I met you once among a sea of other people, and can't exactly remember your name as you stand in front of me now.  What to do, what to do...?

In this entry I identify a key problem for myself in social settings:  I have a bad habit of being anti-social, especially when I'm in a bad mood.  There are just some people in this world who would not get from me the time of day if their life depended on it, when I'm in these kinds of moods.  By no coincidence, it is also the mood where I feel like I'm entitled to the world, and anyone disagrees with me simply 'does not know me nor knows what I've been through.'  This mood tends to get me in trouble with all kinds of people, not limited to just family and friends.  My head just goes down, and I tune out the world.  It's those moments, however, at the same time, that I ask myself, 'What's it worth saying "Hello"?'  Many times I fail to see how far a simple "Hello" goes to people around me.

In a professional sense, I say hello to anyone I meet.  Being around people in this atmosphere carries a special etiquette, in which there is a certain respect deferred to the other person.  I go out of my way to make eye contact, offer a firm handshake, and make appropriate small talk.  The utility of such a gesture brings about the same politeness that is expected in professional situations, while integrating something proactive (me saying "hello" first suggests that I have a general interest in speaking for a moment).  Sometimes, if the situation is right, it's a prime opportunity to pass along a business card to get my name into some network to find a job down the road.  There is always a reason to perk up and be friendly when there's a reward at the end of the path (example:  you made the São Luís morning news...).

In a casual atmosphere, though, the logic gets turned on its head, especially when there are other people around.  I get this dread when I see people who I think I know, but can't say for certain that it is the aforementioned person.  It's almost as if I've seen the person's doppleganger:  is it my best friend from freshman year?  Is it someone who I put myself into an awkward situation with?  Is it someone who I want to be rid of in my life?  Do I want to be seen anywhere near this person?  All of these questions swirl around in my head, thinking about whether or not I should reach out and say hi.  Even if I say hi, what am I going to talk about?  Do I want to attach myself to this person?  Do I want them to attach themselves to me?  So much pressure... the utility just isn't there.  But should we be thinking always about the awkward consequences of the situation?  Alas, maximizing utility is an important part of participating in economic and social life.

This attitude paralyzes a person.  For starters, it shows a serious lack of confidence.  Why do you need to be scared of someone, or being seen near them?  If you, as someone in their twenties, really care that much about what people around you think, you need to re-evaluate your life.  No one deserves the embarrassment of being stiffed by you.  You're not entitled to that kind of prestige (believe me, I had to tell myself that dozens of times).  It also holds you back from smoothing over a lot of issues in your life.  If you want to make yourself into a better person, humility is a difficult but powerful place to start.  The path to reforming oneself comes first from admitting that what you were doing before was at least slightly problematic.

In the end, I've made a resolution to try to fix the way I was.  It's not always easy to initiate a conversation, but I've made it a goal this semester to smooth things over with different people.  The first few people will be easier than others:  sometimes, a simple misunderstanding just requires someone to break the silence and offer apologies.  I've never been great at apologizing, but part of being a better man is learning how.  I plan to continue to put myself out there, admit that I was wrong in places, and try to at least be the person who tried to be nice.  Some people are going to be receptive:  most probably will not.  But that's not the point.  The point is to reclaim humility here.  The moment we turn back towards humility, the moment we bring the important people we've lost back into our lives.  Many times, it simply starts with a polite "hello" to break the ice.  Give it a try, and have a happy hump day!

Judgment Day IV: Towards Unexplored Territory

It's that time of the week again.  Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday, as I ended up falling asleep early during the drubbing that the Steelers took at the hands of the Bears.  Games like that are difficult enough to watch to begin with; compounding the pain is the prospect that you can simply fall asleep if you're watching it on your bed.  Therefore, I got a great night's sleep, at the very least.  However, it's Monday, and it's Judgment Day.  Time to look at the past week in review, and figure out where to go from here.  I've got some good news to report, and also some areas where I've stalled a bit.

Body

Weight on 9/16:  213 pounds

Weight on 9/23:  213 pounds (0)

This came to no surprise to me, as I let the stress of the past week keep me both from the gym and from eating in a healthier way.  Putting off work to the last minute really ups my stress level, even though I find I'm most productive within the same window of time.  I only made it to the gym once this past week, and I'm going to try to keep myself more honest in the week upcoming.  I'm also going to set a goal to be done during work this week:  20 pushups and 20 sit-ups between each hour.  I get roughly a five-minute break, and so a little "deskercise" would not hurt.  Tomorrow afternoon, as I don't have to work until 6:00, I'm going to go to the gym after lunch.  I'm going to get back on track with personal fitness and a good diet.

Mind
Mind is arguably where I made the biggest steps this week.  I took a nice bite in my Coursera course this past week, getting about a week and a half of it done.  I plan on taking Wednesday and/or Thursday afternoon as well to knock out another week and a half, putting me just half a week behind.  I've also got to find a corporation to analyze for the final project, which I will explore this week after Wednesday, the day of my Counterinsurgency class.  In that class I have to participate in a presentation, which will set me back some time both tonight and Tuesday.  Beyond that, I got some good grades this week in different classes, which was encouraging.  As midterms come closer, I need to start recapping some of the things I have learned in the past four weeks in my courses.  Aside from Homecoming this upcoming weekend, I will try to find some ways to work some study in.

The other big step comes from my pursuit to study abroad this semester.  I'm happy to announce that, after submitting my application a month ago, I've been accepted to the Universidad de los Andes in Bogotá, Colombia for the spring semester (Bogotá skyline pictured above).  I'm extremely excited for this opportunity, but it makes the pursuit of becoming a better man that much more important.  I have to focus myself even harder now, as I will be an example for both my school and my country to the people of UniAndes and the Bogotá community.  I will be sure to update you all with news as it comes up.  For now, I need to focus on securing the visa and improving my Spanish to make sure that I can function down in Bogotá both in society and in the classroom.

Spirit
Spiritually, not much new happened.  I went to Mass on Sunday at 6:00pm, which was a good move, as Fr. Joe Freedy was saying Mass.  He's truly an awesome priest, having come from a somewhat unusual background:  starting quarterback at a Division I football program.  His story can be found here.  Anyways, he gave three very simple ways to increase our faith, all of which I could do as quickly as this week.

1) Go to Mass every Sunday.
2) Go to Confession twice per semester.
3) Say an Our Father the moment your feet touch the floor, after waking up.

For this week, I'm going to try to hit all three of these.  I would like to go to Confession, which is arguably the hardest of the three.  Usually I say Confession to a private confessor, but I think I'll try to go before one of the Daily Masses at the Oratory.  Regardless, I think my spirit and heart need a little healing.  For anyone else interested in the same thing, an examination of conscience can be found at this webpage (scroll down to about 2/3 if you don't want to read the preceding passages).

In the upcoming week, I plan to take a couple baby steps.  I'm going to get back on track with my courses, my fitness and my faith.  I see plenty of opportunities to stumble, yet many chances to stay resolute.  I'm going to focus this week on keeping my goals closer to mind in the short term, instead of only thinking about them every other day or so.  Eyes continually on the prize, let's continue into another week!

Tough Love Friday/Saturday: Five Questions for Potty-Mouthed Debaters and Put-Downers

Debate is a fun and enriching experience.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I find myself in them every day, picking on the tiniest of things that people say and bringing them to a crystal-clear projection of their overall worldview.  That really is, I think, the point of informal debates at least:  we want to understand why someone disagrees with us, and then seek using our logic (and, for the more sophisticated of minds, theirs) to persuade someone that they are misguided.  The point is not abrasion, but persuasion.  Through debate we gain intellectual respect and admiration for our counterparts, whether we agree or disagree at the end, and build friendships based on common interest.

That being said, there comes a time in someone's life when they feel that their knowledge has surpassed that of those around them.  This advancement leads to the assertion that the aforementioned budding intellectual now has exponentially higher levels of cognition and empathy than those around them, and that it no longer follows that one can reasonably disagree with them.  If only that person across the table or bar understood everything I learned or studied in college... if only he/she read who I read or listened to who I listened to... if only he/she wasn't a backward thinking, f**king r****ded caveman, maybe I'd be able to stomach him/her.  This is the conceit of intelligence:  that it brings an air of superiority that entitles one to respect that they, in turn, do not have to share with others who do are not perceived to be of the same intellect.

Let me start with a basic assumption:  some of you will agree with me, others will disagree.  I assume that people who use profanity and insults display a lack of intelligence.  Coach Bob Knight (Youtube clip here, obvious warning for foul language) once famously quipped that "f**k" captures more forms of expression than any other word in the English language, and on balance I think he's right.  What better way to accentuate, in a vulgar and crude fashion, how you feel about a given situation?  People use it when they're happy, when they're upset, when they want to strengthen a point, the list goes on.  However, what doesn't change in my brain is the acrimony that I feel every time someone blurts it out in a relaxed, intellectual atmosphere.  There are so many words in the English language that can be substituted for it, yet some people feel the need to verbally batter their counterparts by utilizing it.  Today's Tough Love post is a list of five simple questions to the person who feels the need to embarrass their friends and colleagues by using the "f-word" in intelligent conversation and call names.

1.  (Puzzle) You've presumably spent most of your professional life attempting to earn respect from your peers.  Why, then, should someone who disagrees with you be expected to respect your view if you bash theirs with foul language?

2.  Do you expect to persuade anyone by shrieking or using foul language?  

3.  Do you believe that your catharsis, best manifest through the frequent dropping of F-bombs or calling someone stupid, has any impact on the strength of your case?

4.  How would you feel if someone returned the favor and started swearing at you?

5.  If you feel that tolerance is a virtue, and that we should coexist in a world where people acknowledge their differences and get along, do you believe after a particularly emotional rant that any of your audience should take you seriously?

My advice/inspiration for today comes from the brutality and barbarity that we see in fistfights, especially when intelligent men and women resort to physical violence in the chambers of a government building.  A majority of the developed world lives in representative democracies and constitutional republics, and we naturally recoil when we see our representatives and senators engaging in violence where they are supposed to persuade in order to pass legislation.  I encourage my intelligent and/or argumentative friends to take a step back and truly ask themselves what are their aims when they enter into a debate or intellectual conversation.  Sometimes our emotions just get the better of us, and I understand that we all get frustrated.  However, seek to persuade before you demean.  Seek to convince before you batter.  Seek to respect your peers, even if they don't walk away sharing your worldview.  My mother always told me that "You get a lot more in life with honey than you do with vinegar," and I take that to heart when I speak to people I disagree with.  I can't expect that my words (in particular, this post) are going to fall on receptive ears, but I can establish at least where I come from.

Embrace the "Baby Steps" (A Response to "Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy")

I saw on at least ten of my friends' Facebook feeds this morning a really interesting article from a website I've never heard of before.  The article can be found here.  Basically, the author is trying to explain to our generation, affectionately named "Generation Y," that we do not have the same priorities as our parents when it comes to self-fulfillment, and it then leads to dissatisfaction with our lives once our career and life aspirations are brought down to earth.  No, there isn't an $80,000/annum starting salary for us after we finish our liberal arts degrees.  No, there isn't some neat little social niche that will be staked out for us once the toils and strains of college life are over.  No, you're not special.

In fact, let me link you to my Google search just to show you allllllllllllll the results:  https://www.google.com/search?site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1517&bih=666&q=you're+not+special&oq=you're+not+special&gs_l=img.3..0l4j0i5j0i24l5.1596.4076.0.4255.26.19.3.2.2.1.120.1624.14j5.19.0....0...1ac.1.26.img..3.23.1570.6AeHStEAeW0.

Deflating, but haven't we all heard this before?  I know I have.  I know I've derided the utility of a liberal arts degree in front of a hundred people before when arguing that federal student loans should be targeted more towards areas of study with significant labor demand, such as engineering or science.  I myself have told several friends that they need to stop acting like the world revolves around them when they don't get what they want.  It's a common cynical response, many times exacerbated by the fact that the alleged cynic isn't too happy with their lives, either.  Was I happy with my own life at the time?  Probably not; in fact, I probably wasn't in a good mood to begin with, and I really just wanted my counterpart to shut up because I didn't want to hear what seemed like a totally trivial problem compared to mine.

I think that the author made several points that can't be reinforced enough.  Our parents had very different outlooks on self-fulfillment when they were our age, and it in turn created a chain effect in which self-fulfilled parents told their kids that they could be anything that they wanted to be.  I won't speak directly for my parents, but they displayed an encouraging attitude towards my brothers and me alike when we were little, and they told us that we could be anything that we wanted to be, so long as we worked hard enough at it.  Do well in school, take every little opportunity that life affords you, and don't overestimate the value of small victories.  Don't feel entitled towards anyone.

The author also states bluntly that careers take years to build.  We must embrace patience as a virtue if we wish to be self-fulfilled one day; sure, you might be a cellar-dweller research associate today, and you might be for the next five years.  What will you be, though, after seven to ten years of diligent work and a pleasant working relationship with your superiors?  Economically speaking, given the technology that exists today and flexible labor markets, companies know that they can't just keep professional employees without building in incentives or advancement over time.  Employees can go anywhere else at the drop of a hat (or, as a common courtesy, two weeks' notice), once they've secured better employment, provided that you haven't been contracted to work x amount of years.  Either you're getting a promotion or better benefits after a few years, or you're not giving your employer a strong enough sign that your talents could be better invested elsewhere.

That being said, I found the tone of the article cynical and deflating, and ultimately unhelpful to anyone seeking self-fulfillment.  I'm in the business of becoming a "better man," and cynicism is one of those boring iceberg lettuce salads that sets out to help you embrace reality (i.e. eating pizza and drinking beer every day is going to kill me), but doesn't really incentivize you to better yourself over time.  A cynic is not wise:  he/she is just really good at pointing out flaws in other people and things, then leaves you at square one trying to figure out what to do, all over again.

Let me add, perhaps, a dissent to the author's article and suggest the following:  you can do whatever you want in life, so long as you work hard at it and embrace the "baby steps."  We've all heard the term "baby steps:"  you know, where you embrace progress little by little.  Embrace the small opportunities now, as they open the door to better ones in the future.  Did you get an extra $20 in tips today at the restaurant?  Save it, don't celebrate with it.  Did you sell a few extra products today at the vitamin store?  Do it again tomorrow, and for the next week.  Someone's gonna notice if you reinvent the threshold of achievement for the local business.  The little victories in life ("baby steps") are gifts for the moment, but chances to earn bigger gifts later.  Will you be President of the United States one day?  Probably not.  We only get a new one of those every four or eight years, but you might work for him or her some day.  Will you land your "dream job?"  Everyone's dreams are different, which brings me to my next point.

Today's inspiration for the day, ultimately, is to sit and evaluate your dreams.  Are they attainable?  Could you realistically design a road map to get to that goal?  Even if circumstances change almost every day, sit back and take a look at how close you are to achieving your goals.  You don't have to go my route and dedicate a blog to realizing your dreams, but at least find a simple way to figure out where you are in life.  In my undergraduate career, we were expected every semester to develop three SMART Goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely; credit Brother Chris Gassman) for our own development.  Details for creating these types of goals are found here.

Finally, I think Jack Canfield is on to something with embracing "baby steps."  I'm going to close with a video that I want you guys to see.  Use daily, if not hourly, reminders to remind you of where you're going.  Maybe we Generation Y-types can find a way to assert our uniqueness and special nature if we can do a better job of keeping our eyes on the proverbial ball and seek to attain our goals.  Have a good day tomorrow!

Judgment Day Part III: Sorry for Not Writing!

Let me begin this entry by giving a short apology:  I took a few days off from writing.  It wasn't because I didn't have any ideas or any lame excuse:  I was simply lazy.  I decided to go out Friday night, then went to a wedding on Saturday night, and then worked all day on Sunday.  It wasn't a crazy busy weekend, but I still didn't have a lot of down time to just sit and talk about my life on the computer.  I apologize for that, as I know that there are some people out there who have enjoyed reading my stuff.  Nonetheless, let's get back to the grind.

Body
Weight on 9/9/2013:  215 pounds
Weight on 9/16/2013:  213 pounds (-2)

The beginning of this week was great for the body, as I hit the gym each day between Tuesday and Wednesday, focusing more on cardio.  Towards the weekend, however, I was lazy and didn't make it.  I need to start making it up there on Saturday mornings before I work.  Focusing on the positives, however:  I'm starting to notice that I'm fitting into pants better.  I tried on a pair of Levi's jeans that I hadn't been able to wear since about Christmas, and after walking around in them for about an hour, end up pretty comfortable.  I'm still a bit heavy in the legs, which is why it's hard to wear fitted jeans; however, I think with more fresh fruit and water in my diet, paired with cardio, those parts of my body should thin out.  Considering I also went to Fuel & Fuddle last night and had a small pizza with a beer, I'm very pleased with where I'm at, weight-wise.

Mind
I fell behind this week, in terms of my Coursera course.  I have a lot of different small assignments to turn in for various classes, so I'm going to need to just take an afternoon and pound through about a week's worth of the Coursera material.  I like the layout of the course, however, and how it is presented.  I'm also learning a ton in my Development Economics courses, trying to figure out the root causes of poverty and different perspectives as to how to attack it.  I'm interested in developing a couple different research papers this semester related to how poverty is related to global trade, and I will develop different outlines and research questions as the semester goes on.  The key with my projects this semester is to develop "puzzles;" in other words, I have to find something that doesn't make sense based on conventional wisdom and find alternative explanations.  It's going to be a heck of a mental exercise, and I hope that I can hold on to other activities while I work on these various theses.

Spirit

I tried reciting that prayer from St. Thomas Aquinas a few times over the weekend, as I worked on homework and read.  I have it written on a note card in my room.  At church yesterday, I found inspiration in reading Psalm 51, an important psalm related to atonement for sin.  I'm going to try this week to go to Confession, perhaps at the end of the week.  In the meantime, I will look for another saint or religious figure to highlight, probably on Wednesday or Thursday.  Reading the lives of saints always helps me to re-orient myself to address different daily challenges in my life.  If anyone has an idea about a particular saint for me to read about, I would appreciate the guidance!

I'm happy with my progress for the week, but this week I want to up the intensity.  In the gym, I'm going to try to push the weights a little more.  My goal for the mind is to catch up my Coursera course.  In terms of spirit, I want to recite that Aquinas prayer a little more, but also throw in an extra rosary.  A couple extra people asked me to pray for them this week, so surely I can work an extra in.  Anyways, I will be ready to write tomorrow, so I will see you all tomorrow!

St. Thomas Aquinas, Patron of Learning

St. Thomas Aquinas is one of the most important saints in the intellectual history of the Church.  Born in Italy in 1225, he made his career as a friar, philosopher and theologian, making huge contributions to medieval and contemporary philosophy.  An entire school of philosophy, Thomism, owes its name to him; and many who argue on behalf of natural law in today's political discourse appeal to his writings and critiques.  His theology, best described in his Summa Theologica, forms the bedrock of Western Christian theology beyond the Holy Bible itself, although the work itself was never even finished!  He serves as the patron saint (or at least one of them) to scholars, academics, students and Catholic education.

It's hard to document all of the important contributions that St. Thomas Aquinas made throughout his life, but I bring him into my blog today to demonstrate the importance of his educational formation.  Many philosophy students and Catholic theologians are aware that St. Thomas Aquinas pulled his philosophy and knowledge from great thinkers who came before him, regardless of background or nationality.  He was inspired by Muslims such as Averroës, Jews such as Maimonides, and Ancient Greeks such as Aristotle.  In creating works such as Summa Theologica, he drew upon seven important virtues, broken into two different categories:  faith, hope, love [theological], prudence, temperance, justice and fortitude [cardinal].  The first category manifests itself directly in God; to us Christians, this is what God is.  The second category comes directly from nature, and Man is responsible to uphold these regardless of faith.  The cardinal virtues served as an inspiration to drafters of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, most notably Jacques Maritain.  St. Thomas Aquinas created a philosophy applicable to both the divine and the worldly, and although his works are long and complex, important highlights of Thomism can be found on Wikipedia, and his entire Summa Theologica can be found at the Catholic Encyclopedia.

Inspiration comes today from St. Thomas Aquinas as we all become enmeshed in the new semester.  For all of us in the world who believe in absolute truth, who believe in the pursuit of doing good, and who gain pleasure from constant learning, it is imperative that we never lose this spirit.  Remember that we learn to gain skills to fulfill a future job and the tasks of life, but we also seek truth.  Truth will not come to us like a bolt of lightning; rather, it comes after a constant quest, each day learning and applying something new to what we already know.  Sometimes we learn from our inner circles; other times, the outside world enriches us.  Learn, as St. Thomas Aquinas learned and preached, to apply worldly virtues of prudence, temperance, justice and fortitude to your lives, as well as working on the theological virtues to connect with the supernatural.  We see faith, hope and love every day; however, the next step is connecting it to something greater than us.  These virtues together will build better men and women out of all of us.  

In closing, I would like to share a video from Father Robert Barron (his website can be found here).  This man is a giant on Catholic theology and a bit of a rock star on the Youtube circuit.  It's about seven minutes long, and it neatly ties together parts of Thomism that I haven't really addressed in this entry.  Pay attention especially at about 1:30, where he outlines the relationship between philosophical and religious truth.  I think this is an outstanding connection, and through reading I want to understand it further.

I've also copied a short prayer attributed to St. Thomas Aquinas that captures very well the spirit we should embody when deep in study.  I will make a mission to say it a couple times a week:

Creator of all things,

true source of light and wisdom,

origin of all being,

graciously let a ray of your light penetrate

the darkness of my understanding.

Take from me the double darkness

in which I have been born,

an obscurity of sin and ignorance.

Give me a keen understanding,

a retentive memory, and

the ability to grasp things

correctly and fundamentally.

Grant me the talent

of being exact in my explanations

and the ability to express myself

with thoroughness and charm.

Point out the beginning,

direct the progress,

and help in the completion.

I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Have a good night, everyone!

The Shining City on a Hill

"We shall find that the God of Israel is among us, when ten of us shall be able to resist a thousand of our enemies; when He shall make us a praise and glory that men shall say of succeeding plantations, "may the Lord make it like that of New England." For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and so cause Him to withdraw His present help from us, we shall be made a story and a by-word through the world."  -John Winthrop, 1630

Like most Americans old enough to remember, I recall where I was when I first heard about the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon on September 11, 2001.  As a child, I did not fully grasp the meaning of the attacks, being hundreds of miles away and only being able to see them on television.  However, in the following months and years, I watched a country come together to support its citizens, both lending comfort to the aggrieved and encouragement to those willing to fight for our continued freedom.  This time period, which made up the majority of middle and high school years, gave me great pride to be an American and push me even today to support the highest ideals of the United States in whatever part of the world I find myself.

I believe that it is an unequivocal blessing to have grown up in the United States of America.  Thinking about the events of September 11, I remember all of the things I have and cherish, and take pride that I can live my life basically unimpeded by oppressive forces.  I will never declare that my country is perfect; however, I could not have grown up in a better country with a better experiment in democracy.  I have studied history, politics and economics for the past five-and-a-half years within my university coursework, and have learned about populations who have been harassed, arrested and/or tortured for things I do every day.  At the same time, I know that there are people who overindulged in the freedoms and privileges that we enjoy in being Americans; in fact, one of the things that loses respect from citizens of the rest of the world is that many of us have become fat, lazy and stupid.  Many Americans find little or no incentive in hard work, feeling satisfied in their current state or level of achievement.

One thing that makes this country great is that we have the opportunity to realize our greatest dreams, if we work hard enough to achieve them.  Sure, it takes elements of luck and knowing the right people, but in no other country do we have a greater chance to change the world for the better than this one.  It is not an invitation to sit back and bask in our own mediocrity; rather, it is our opportunity to take life and opportunities by the reins and, as Mahatma Gandhi once put it, "be the change you wish to see in the world."  The United States of America is a country, but it is not really a nation in the sense that France or Germany is; we are, in fact, a country of nations, working together under the banner of a liberal constitution to achieve democratic progress.  To this day, our country stands as one of the greatest experiments in democracy that humankind has ever known.  Looking towards the future, how best do we achieve that progress?  How best do we achieve that "City on a Hill" metaphor that Governor Winthrop employed 400 years ago?

Today, September 11, 2013, marks 12 years since our country was attacked, and we embarked upon a new era of understanding about the world:  yes, the United States emerged as the victor after the Cold War ten years before, but that does not mean that the United States (or its citizens) control the world.  We still have responsibilities as members of the developed world to invest time and energy to make the world as a whole a better place.  We must keep in mind that many lost loved ones on that tragic day; at the same time, we must remember (and understand why) a group of people resolved, with hate in their hearts, to fly airplanes into some of our most prominent buildings and into a rural Pennsylvania field.  As brave men and women foiled a hijacking on United 93, and firefighters, policemen and volunteers burst into buildings in New York and Washington to save innocent lives, we recall the heroism that men and women in uniform and complete strangers helped others in needed.  That heroism, though unique to great people, does not only come from tragedy; rather, we as Americans must grasp that mantle and seek to improve the world around us, in tasks mundane and extraordinary.

The inspiration today comes from a series of blessings.  To my American friends, thank God today that you grew up in the greatest country on Earth.  Whether Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Deist, or any other faith, give thanks for your great fortune today.  The blessing, however, does not stop at simply fortune:  you must use what you have given to engage the rest of the world.  If the United States of America is truly to stay the "City on a Hill" for generations to come, remember that a city itself needs to be built and maintained.  Be the example to the rest of the world that Americans are tasked to be.  Do we have the greatest democracy on earth?  Show the beauty of our democratic tradition.  Do we have superior institutions?  Take advantage of them to make yourself a better and stronger person.  Do faith and public life truly live harmoniously?  Live out your faith in public life, paying no attention to those who harass you.  There will always be people who want to tear you down; however, they will still know you by your fruits.  The biggest blessing is to be able to lead by example.  Currently the world is looking for examples to follow:  seize the opportunity to make your mark.  Have a good night, and God bless America.

Climb

It's just week three of the semester, and I feel that in some ways, my back is up against the wall.  Just this week, I have had to prepare for discussions in four different classes, as well as make a 25-minute presentation for one of them.  At the same time, I'm tying up the loose ends of a Fulbright application, all while balancing work and relationships.  I also might be hearing about a virtual internship for this semester, something that would stretch my workload another five to ten hours per week.  The 90-degree late summer day isn't helping, either.  I did manage to go to the gym today, but it was more a session of running and rowing whatever stress that I felt out of my system.  By the time Friday afternoon rolls around, I should be pretty plum-tuckered.

At the same time, I'm not complaining.  In the quest to become a "better man," I'm proud of what I have managed to accomplish today, and I'm confident that I can complete at least everything for tomorrow.  These are the kinds of weeks where we discover our true characters.  Even when we feel that the walls are collapsing on us, we must take a moment to take a deep breath.  Lay out all the cards.  Look at the hand you've been dealt, and consider the potential variables that could beat you.  Make a list of everything you need to do in the next 24 hours, and imagine climbing a rock wall.  Every task you complete in the short term is another step up that wall.  If one piece of rock is too hard to reach, Take breaks, if you must:  work for twenty minutes, rest for five.  By the end, of course you will be tired:  however, all the work you put in now will pay off in the end.

Often we get frustrated because the work that we put into something does not yield any fruit.  Indeed, many of us quit after failing to invent the light bulb the first time.  Remember from an earlier post that Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times to create a light bulb before he developed the first one.  We have to accept that we will fail, and that those around us also fail.  Failure is part of life, but it does not serve as an end to a journey; rather, it should motivate you to either try something new or something else.  Remember why you took on the task to begin with, and let that motivate you to continue.  Is the goal in mind worth another climb?

For me, I reflect on the stress of today and this blog entry and give a "yes" to everything that I'm currently working on.  Win or lose, I will finish this Fulbright application and have it ready for next week.  This presentation that I have tomorrow is in the process of being done, and will be done even if I have to go into the wee hours of the morning to finish it.  I will give four good hours of English lessons tonight, focusing on giving the students the tools that they need to work beyond me and to achieve their goal:  fluency.  I will not falter in the movement towards a master's degree, a stable job, or a better life.  All of it has value in my mind, and I will continue to climb until I have reached everything that I can.

Take a moment to think about your tasks for the near future.  Focus all your energy for now on the finish line, thinking about the satisfaction of having finished your task. However, after just a few moments of satisfaction, start to build your campaign.  You can't finish until you know how you're going to finish.  Make sure your steps are short, yet logical.  Even if you have 20 things to finish in the next day, outlining every detail of your quest is a satisfying exercise.  Finally, I've included a clip at the end of this entry from one of my favorite movies of all time, Friday Night Lights.  Listen to Coach Gaines' words as he motivates his team to rally back from a difficult first half of football.  For us, it is the same:  with "clear eyes" and "love in our hearts," let us continue our climb to the top, and overcome our challenges this week!

Judgment Day II: Don't Lose Focus!

So it's Monday once again, and it's time to give a little assessment of how things went this past week.  Sorry for not posting yesterday:  it's not that I took a vacation, but rather that I fell asleep early Sunday night after a delicious outing at Prince of India Buffet (You can find them on Fifth Avenue in Oakland or at this website).  Every now and then, after a long day of work and week overall, buffets are necessary, but the good ones always induce food comas.  Anyways, I'm getting off-topic:  I'm not sure how poorly chicken tikka masala or garlic naan affected my body for this week's weigh-in, but I can assure you that I went to the gym more times and ate better through other days of the week.

Body

Weight on 9/2:  217 pounds

Weight on 9/9:  215 pounds (-2)

This week wasn't bad for the body, as I found a couple extra days to go to the gym.  After hitting the treadmill three times, I feel that I'm starting to get back some of the cardio that I lost from over the summer.  At the same time, skipping rope on Tuesday went really well.  I did six sets of 200 skips, going to failure on the sixth set, in which I did roughly 310.  Over the next week, if I get a jump rope in my hands once again, I'm going to try to mix up the regimen a bit.

Some questionable food decisions kept some of that hard work from coming to fruition.  Pizza and mac and cheese on Saturday did not serve as a good combination, nor did Indian food the next day.  However, this week is a new week, and I will be working hard to eat more sensibly.  I have a couple loaves of wheat bread now in hand, and I think that will help to quell any food cravings between meals.  I know that there are better things to eat, but I'll also try to mix bananas and apples into my meals to get the fresh fruit necessary.  The goal for 9/16 is 212, or another 3 pounds off.

Mind

One of the great things about graduate school is that you're always being exposed to new strains of thought, depending on the semester or even the given week.  This semester I'm learning a lot more about global economic development, focusing on key issues such as poverty and counterinsurgency.  The classes are intense, with some classes asking for at least a book a week; however, I'm up for the challenge.  I enjoy that there are different presentations and readings for which I have to prepare, as it allows me to better internalize the readings.  I've always held that I learn the best when I have to complete small assignments every week (as opposed to one big assignment at the end of the team).  I read chapters of the book I'm showing above, for my Global Poverty capstone course.  In it I have learned about the reality of global poverty and some of the tools and approaches we can use to address this very important issue.

In addition, I've continued working with my Coursera course on business strategy.  Though I've fallen a bit behind on it (I haven't taken the weekly quiz yet), I have a couple free afternoons in the upcoming week that I can use to view the rest of the lectures, take the quiz, and get a start on this week's lectures.  In all, I'm disappointed that I didn't dedicate more time to this course last week, as I encountered some pretty cool topics both yesterday and today, but I will adjust that strategy for the next few days.

Spirit

I managed to summarize some readings that I did this past summer related to the genocide in Rwanda and Immaculée Ilibagiza's re-telling of the events; however, I didn't attack a whole lot more this week in terms of spirit.  Maybe it's just that I've been busy; this week, what I'm going to try to do another entry on a saint important to my life.  I might look at Thomas Aquinas, the patron saint of scholarship, or perhaps St. Michael the Archangel, whose prayer I try to say every day on my way to school.  Either way, this area is probably the area I need to address the most in the upcoming week.

And so, this week's Judgment Day wasn't a harsh one, but I will admit that I was a bit unfocused.  I definitely made some mistakes over the course of the week, whether out of pure laziness or just bad choices, and I seek to correct them in the upcoming week.  I will keep you all posted on how things are going and will give insights to new things that I'm trying on a daily basis.  For the rest of Monday, and for Tuesday, think about how focused you are in your goals, at this point of the year.  Are you on track?  Is there something keeping you from achieving your goals?  How might you turn things around to finally hit your target?  I'm already thinking about these sorts of things, and the goal now is to implement them.  Find little steps in your daily routine to re-orient your pursuit of your goals, and be sure to test regularly if you're staying on track.  Thanks, and see you all tomorrow!