The Value of Patience

After this week, I have a legitimate gripe about Bogotá and Bogotanos.  Generally I'm a polite person, and I try to go out of my way to make sure I remember the manners my Mom taught me when I was little.  However, this week has seriously tried my patience.  I have been pushed around, cussed at in Spanish, and have seen the unfriendliest in Bogotanos and other Colombians.  Let me use some examples:

1.  Church

Ok, people weren't particularly rude in church, but rather it was just that the communion line is anarchy.  In the States, we usually start with the first row, and then filter back, meaning you don't actually go up until all the people in front of you decide whether or not they want to go.  The other thing is that while I'm usually kneeling, as we commonly do in the States, other folks are standing and chomping at the bit to get in line, then preparing to bolt out of the church after communion.  Because of that, I usually end up getting communion close to last, as I don't really want to step on any toes getting up to the front.

2.  Airplanes

This one is close to the worst!  There is all the organization in the world to get on these planes, but none to get off them.  Getting home from Cúcuta and Valledupar, I noticed that people, once that airplane stops, get up and make a mad dash for the front.  It doesn't matter if they're bumping into people in the aisle seat, knocking over old ladies, whatever... they just have to be first off that plane.  I remember particularly after the Valledupar flight, I was in like the 15th row, but probably 90% of the people behind me got off well before I did.  I even stood in the aisle, just waiting for someone to give me enough space to get out... no luck.  Nonetheless, I politely let out about three or four old ladies/kids who had as bad of luck as I did before leaving the plane.

3.  Restaurants

This one leads me to believe that Colombians have no concept of the value of lines.  I was at a Juan Valdez in Chapinero the other day, waiting to snag a coffee and a delicious pan de chocolate, when suddenly this middle-aged woman decides to walk alongside me, and then in front of me.  Here I was, waiting patiently for the doofus in front of me to decide whether he wanted his breakfast heated or not (looked like he was putting a lot of thought into it), and a professionally-dressed, middle-aged woman decides that I must not be in line.  When the guy in front of me finished, and the woman (now in front of me) started ahead, I threw my hands up and slapped them against my legs in exasperation.  Even the girl at the counter looked at me like, "I know you were in front of her."  The woman wheeled back at me, giving me a "What's your problem?" look.  At this point I could have said, "Did you forget your lessons when you were a child, such as... I don't know... standing in line when you want something?"  Unfortunately, my sarcasm doesn't translate well to Spanish, so I waved her by, irritated.  This seems to be common in fast-food restaurants... if you're not breathing down the neck of the person in front of you, someone will assume they can just cut the line in front of you.

4.  TransMilenio

The TransMi easily makes me the most angry, as I need to use it almost every day.  I can understand that, because there is a wide door that slides open every time a bus stops, that there will be a group of people huddled at the front, not in any single-file line.  What happens when those doors open, however, is pure chaos:  people lose their morals.  I've seen grannies shoved, little kids nearly trampled, and people standing in the way of the entrance because they want the next bus so they can sit down.  The last group is the biggest pain in the ass:  none of these people are ever particularly old, but they will stand in the entrance and block the passage for the people who have no problem standing on the first bus.  There should be some sort of rule that, if you're waiting for the next bus, you should stand off to the side or something.  It is unacceptable that I have to find my inner John Riggins or Larry Csonka just to get on a bus that people aren't actually boarding.

Anyways, it's truly strange how you can meet Bogotanos on the street, and they'll be some of the nicest and helpful people you'll ever meet, especially to this perpetually lost gringo.  Then, at the moment that they have to wait for something, it becomes a competition of "Me first!  Me first!"  It's like we all threw out the rules we learned in kindergarten.  I was always taught that you allow ladies and children to go first, not to stand still on a crowded sidewalk, and to say "Excuse me" if you bump into someone.  With those manners in this city, sometimes I feel like a real chump.